„You are in love with your freedom!” – a feedback I recently received from Dezső, at the end of a training. If I deduct the poetic exaggeration from the comment, I have to admit, he is right. During my university years it became clear to me that I have an extra amount of what we call responsibility paired with a hint of perfectionism, a combo that became pretty distressful in my life. I came to an understanding (many people helping me on the way – thank you!) that for the sake of my own personal development, I need to take the road towards freedom, which looked rather scary back then. Since then, I have more than 20 years behind me with countless amount of self-knowledge and training hours, several hundred projects and thousands of coaching sessions.
By now, I know from experience that without feeling liberated I should not even start anything: the focused attention, the discipline of systemic thinking, the found inner ease and the openness to sense what is really taking place – these are the skills that I heavily lean on during my work. And these are also the skills that I help to develop in my clients, in order to find a good balance in their own issues and solution approaches, to take on their responsibilities and let go of what holds them back, to find energy, strength, vigor and drive in themselves (and not in me!) that is necessary for the changes to take shape. It’s a wonderful feeling to work with clients and partners that I learn a lot from, with whom I like to be with, and who create value and represent excellence in their own fields.
I am grateful,
- that as an organization development consultant I have a chance to see the human dimension even in huge companies, and the organizational significance in the fate of the individuals – and in the depth of it all, the freedom I came to love so much.
- to András and my colleagues because we have an effect on each other – we learn from each other in a trusting environment, and we figure out together what impedes development/improvement and how we can overcome the obstacles.
- that my work never gets boring – that my curiosity, excitement and passion from twenty years ago is still intact.
I think we live our lives with many insoluble paradoxes. I strive to accept them and not to resolve them by force. I am continuously looking for opportunities for genuine humor: to point out critical issues in a way that the feeling of acceptance is surrounding the participants instead of a sense of shame.
The real challenge in my leadership role: how can I be a defining member of the Neosys community, aligned with András, so that I can show direction, shape the culture, but also strengthen the diversity that is radiating from the team members – and do all these simultaneously. This is not less of a challenge as the years go by, it keeps me awake and alert...
I am also immensely grateful to my children for continuously challenging and holding a mirror to me, and for those intimate moments that demonstrate the essence of our recent years so well.